Kellene Schurb

PATRIOTIC ANYTHING: Veteran of the US Air Force as Lead Singer and Professional Narrator and Emcee for the Air Force Rock Band and Popular Music Performance Combo. My first love is any gig that may support or uplift our military or our military families in any way. Lets talk characters: Awesome Screams, Groans, Grunts, Moans, Video Game Sounds, Baby laughing, girls giggling, dying slowly, dying quickly, stabbed, struck, fight scenes, driving sounds, farm animals, cartoon characters. I LOVE doing scary laughs, haunting ghosts, and I do a mean "Wicked Witch Of the West"! Tongue twisters & Speed reading is one of my specialties: and I LOVE the challenge! Darker characters are fun and wild: Dry, crabby, impersonal, angry, loud, seething, "witchy-poo", "cranky old woman, disgruntled customer/employee, jealous, cold, conceited, "the hurt wife or jilted lover", straight/flat (doctor delivering sad news), boring monotone (geometry teacher), afraid, frantic, haunting, ghostly, quietly unnerving (mental patient), speech impediments such as dental challenges, facial deformities, and disabilities which affect speech including the "speaking deaf". Light/Fun Characters: The "life of the party": fun, young, fresh, everybody's gal-pal, very "smiley", giggly, sweet, teenager flirtatious/silly (Oh My God! He did not!!!)the girl next door, young and hip, All 4 of the "Sex & The City" type personalities. Also, tipsy, drunk, "the confused blonde", the ever-ridiculously picky neighbor, the office gossip, the PTA perfect soccer Mom. Professional Characters: the Narrator, the Teacher, The professional, The College professor, The Church Mom. the voice of many technical instruction manuals. Choose from other attritbutes such as: clear, concise, high powered CEO, warm and friendly, very "put together and prepared for the business meeting", commanding respect, no-nonsense/ "Don't even think of interrupting me-type of boss", the producer, director, dance audition director ("NEXT!!!"), The lawyer, the judge, the preacher, the lady in the church choir everybody tries to avoid... Sexy characters: Exceptionally good at very sexy, very adult: smokey, smooth, flirtatious, naughty, sweet and sassy, dominant, submissive. Very horny, teasing, loving and heart-to-heart type of close. I am not afraid, embarrassed or offended by language. Characterizations a la carte: Hysterical crying female of all ages, yet still able to be understood clearly through the crying jag. Bored, unimpressed, restrained hatred, nervous ranging from slightly agitated and worried, to drug addicted paranoid. Distracted, detached, uncaring, overly interested, annoyingly friendly, so sweet that your teeth hurt. Broken English from Asian or Mexican immigrants, white trash of all ages, redneck type woman, Nascar hussy. Emotionally wounded, terrified, in massive pain both emotional and physical, "game show" excited, sarcastic, game show host "speaking through the perfect smile", "bad ventriloquist", "good ventriloquist", large vocabulary to speak professionally regarding medical, legal and corporate terminology. Cheesy gum popping ditzy female, "Spanglish" as is depicted by Peggy Hill of "King of the Hill". Impersonations: Huge Voices such as Ethel Merman, Ursella (The Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid", Belle (from "Beauty & the Beast), Ariel (from Little Mermaid), Lucille Ball type "putting on a show with Mickey Rooney", Liza Minelli, Cher, Selma and Patty (from the Simpsons), Barnyard Animals, birds... little tiny voices such as Carol Channing and cartoon voiced girls. Okay, I'll admit it. I'll try just about anything, and if I can't do it, I'll practice it until I can do it. Challenge me! Dialects: I have no natural accent and no obvious accent of any kind, yet can do many accents with very good actualization. I have lived all over the country, and I love to play with impersonations of different areas of the country. Minnesota "Norweigan/Swede/Pollack: much like "Margie" from the movie "Fargo". Southern Belle: the debutante, sweet and shy or loud and obnoxious. Also the "hillbilly" and "trailer trash", Mexican ethnic gang female with a small vocabulary of Hispanic words: however I sing and record Mexican music, so I am able to learn to speak ethnic with some Mexican language thrown in. Strong Mexican Gang-chick accent with attitude. Rich girl, shopping queen, satirical comedy, and "over the top" Jewish women. Although I enjoy anything that lets me work behind a microphone- I'm actually a life long trained singer/musician. Please contact me to be directed to hear some samples of my musical recordings: my personal songwriting, demo/studio singing, professional stage singing, vocal training, light opera, jazz, country, rock, classic rock, soul, R&B,Gospel, spiritual, atheral, religious, hymns as well as many cover song recordings. Favorite voices that really are fun for me: anything wild, weird, "over-the-top", SNL style character parodies, yet I also really enjoy the challenge of doing the very highly professional TV reporter/ news anchor, the talk show hostess who can't keep from laughing (that's done on purpose), and really, just about anything that stretches me. I really love a challenge, and I can give you your character, if you can give me direction. Without direction, I like to send in 2-3- or even 4 different auditions reads so you can hear some different choices of the character you are asking for. Make me work! I love it! Here's a question I don't have an answer for: if you're ever looking for serious silliness that requires two characters, both my husband and 12 year old son also do many characters in sketch comedy live on stage with me. My husband does a fierce "Over-The-Top-Announcer" and we wonder if there are jobs we can do together? How does that sort of audition work?

I have recorded 2 of my own novels, and three training manuals for private corporations. As a former Radio DJ, I have recorded several hundred commercials for clients as well as many, many promo spots for my own recording career. I have recorded more than 135 voice over narrations for military presentations, slide shows, training visuals, etc. I have recorded over 100 children's stories provided to children in countries where our US military serves, complete with impromptu vocal and instrumental sound effects, different and unique characters, and musical background. I can do awesome adult content: however, special consideration is required for each individual project and NOTHING over 10 seconds will be recorded as audition material. I can provide an "Adult Demo": which is spoken and recorded as an Adult project, but uses non-adult material. I have to have this policy, as I have been "burned" in the past by so-called "Customers/Clients" who only used the recordings for purposes other than professional, and without payment. I am not a 900 number personal service. please contact me if very Adult material is needed. Swearing/Cussing is not a problem: many video games and podcasts have plenty of swearing and cussing: however, I will not use the "G-D" swear word. Thank you for understanding my personal policies concerning Adult Content - Swearing and Cussing. I don't mind the work and I can provide very professional adult content: however, I insist the project be professional and handled with taste. *Personal Adult Projects are available within these parameters as well. Almost everything I do revolves around the use of my voice, or training other people to use their voices. I am a professionally trained vocalist of more than 30 years, a former high school teacher, voice coach, drama teacher, recording studio vocal producer, radio DJ, stand-up comedianne, award winning International Recording Artist and Entertainer, author, public speaking coach and event producer, corporate customer service and telephone customer service trainer, and I have recently completed my seventh book which I hope will allow me to tour to promote my books and musical recordings as a seminar speaker. I have worked very hard to develop many different types of voices and I LOVE creating and finding new characters or tackling very difficult projects. I especially enjoy reading books for the blind, doing children's stories, any kind of teaching projects (I love the challenge of making teaching sessions fun and interesting to listen to: to keep an audience interested in listening.) I enjoy all aspects of voice overs, public speaking, recording, voice acting and production, as well as corporate telephone systems and customer service telephone training. As a professional performing vocalist/ musician, I have gear that is great stage equipment as well as extremely high quality recording equipment. Microphone for recording: Neumann U-87 clone. 12 channel Mackie sound board Mackie 800w Pro Amp Of course it just wouldn't be the same without Bose headphones & I always rely on the expert quality of Monster Cables. Programs: I am currently using and/or have available & expertise with: Sony Soundforge, Cakewalk, Audacity, Lexicon/Omega, ProTools, the M Audio Producer Professional Series, ProStudio, Amcon, ULead, Roxio, Mixx, ProDJ & many others. Mackie Pro 15 speakers Roland powered floor monitor and stand alone small room PA Shure 58 hard wire microphones Shure 58S wireless microphone system Shure 58 H Headset wireless microphone system Shure 58C Classic microphone (I call it "The Patsy", as it is the style that was widely used with Elvis, Patsy Cline, johnny Cash, Big Bopper, etc. It has a deliciously warm, rich, extremely responsive attitude.) Apple IPODS: 2 80g video & 2 60g basics (2500) karaoke CDG discs with no lead vocals (7500) albums of all genres including stock royalty-free loops, samples, independents, soundtracks, etc. Several memberships to legal music downloading sites for new, interesting, original, royalty free background music and effects. Vocopro 550 twin wireless mics Vocal300FX Vocal Effects processor Shark 575 LX loop processor, vocal effects, noise cancellation and feedback remover. Vocal3000 Stand Alone Vocal Effetcs unit: Over 3000 Vocal Effects, Sound Effects, and Noise reduction Processor & Limiter Dell lap top computers with Vista and XP, 180G each RAM with superboost soundcards Dell desktop PC with 100g RAM running XP. Lexicon destop recording system with Cubase LE Mixing and Engineering program. Sound FX program: from Cubase LE, considered one of the best audio reverb and FX on the market. I love what I do, and I can turn around a recording client within 2 hours in that one-of-a-kind special circumstance. most projects have a 6-8 hour completion time if a quick turn around project is needed. When I do travel, I take my equipment and a traveling booth set up with me, so I can work from anywhere. (I build furniture in my spare time- I was raised a country girl on a farm. I can drive a tractor too!) I am a professional, I take my client's time and needs extremely seriously. I have old-fashioned work ethics and I am an honest, diligent and strongly patriotic person. I believe that if you put your trust in me to provide a service, that I will take that to heart, and I will do all I can to give 100% to your project. It is important to me that my clients see that I have integrity and that I am a professional, and that I have a talent that gives me great pleasure to use to make my living. I want to make it very clear to all who may consider hiring me: I will not, under any circumstances, record or be a part of any project that is intended to hurt, defame or mock my country: the beautiful UNITED STATES OF AMERICA or the UNITED STATES MILITARY. I will not support any terroristic activities or organizations, or any organizations that give their monies or support to do anything against the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA or the UNITED STATES MILITARY. I will not make fun of or mock God, eus Christ, The Holy Ghost/Spirit, nor any religion. I will NOT use the swear word "G-D" with God' name as a part of it, nor will I say anything with "Jesus" or "Jesus Christ" used as slang, profanity or as mocking/or joke towards God or Jesus Christ. I will not purposely hurt another person's feelings or record comments against a person's character. I will proudly record FREE OF CHARGE if the project directly affects the UNITED STATES MILITARY or the USO. With HONOR!!! Please ask! Special rates and consideration will also be given to Professional Service Organizations such as Fire, Police, Nursing, Teachers, Red Cross, American Cancer Society, VFW, American Legion, The Lions CLub, etc. Within those boundaries, I look forward to the opportunity to provide you with the highest qulaity service and creativity I am capable of. I appreciate your consideration, the time it took to read through all of this, and your attention. With my extreme devotion to the highest quality work I can produce, and with your devotion to finding the very best partnerships for the companies that are your hard work and investment: together we can make a great team. I look forward to your project! Again, thank you, God Bless the USA and please, no matter which political party or delegates you endorse, please remember to support our Troops, our Military Families, along with the Fire Department, Police Department, Red Cross Volunteers, teachers and nurses. Can you imagine a world without them? SINGcerely, Yours (TM), Kellene