Humorous Horoscope IVR project MALE

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Project Main Details

Humorous Horoscope IVR project MALE 
Thank you for auditioning! The script is fairly straightforward and the end-product should be humorous. We've envisioned this as a straight read, but if you'd like to deliver something more humorously "over-the-top" please feel free.


2011-01-14 15:31:29 GMT
2011-01-18 15:00:00 (GMT -05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada) 
Yes (click here to learn more about Voice123's SmartCast)
0 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 50 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.

Project Parameters

The Voice Actor should be located in:
To be defined
IVR, voicemail, phone systems, and on-hold messages
Script length
English - USA and Canada
See description
Young Adult Male OR Middle Age Male OR Senior Male
• Audio files must be delivered via email
There are no special pre-, post-, or production requirements for this project.
Not defined
This is a non-union project

Script Details

***We've envisioned this as a straight read, but if you'd like to deliver something more humorously "over-the-top" please feel free.

***Please submit a sample in order to audition.  
Hello. You may or may not have heard that all astrological signs have recently changed. While this may seem strange, arbitrary, or even ridiculous, this Horoscopes Hotline has been established to clear up any confusion about where your life is now headed...

Aquarius: There is a mix of good and bad for you. The good news is that you will soon have the best orgasm of your life. The bad news is that it will be quite unexpected, it will be in public, and it will result in cardiac arrest.

Pisces: You should treat yourself to something special. Like a shower. Because the cosmic winds have shifted and there is a terrible odor coming from Uranus.

Aries: Today is your day… To die.

Taurus: The stars will soon align long enough to reveal to you your ideal sexual partner. You will then discover that it is a relative and you will struggle deciding which of these two things to ignore.

Gemini: You will soon run into an old friend on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, you will do it with your car.

Cancer: Yep, you got it. And syphilis, too.

Leo: Your mind will wander to faraway places and you will dream of exotic destinations to escape your painfully boring existence. But these dreams will come as you are driving and you will end up somewhere much less exotic. Like prison. Vehicular manslaughter may not be the ticket to a tropical vacation, but it'll certainly spice up your sex life when you drop the soap.

Virgo: Stop being such an asshole.

Libra: Incredible sexual experiences with an authority figure await you. But they will attempt to hide their interest and desire at first, so you must be persistent when they initially object to your advances.

Scorpio: Beware of your friends as one of them is plotting to steal something very important from you in the near future. Something like a kidney. It's not that this person is a bad friend, just that he or she is in a really desperate situation with some really bad people and you shouldn't ask too many questions if you know what's good for you.

Saggitarius: Someone you know may try to assassinate you. Unfortunately you aren’t important enough to be assassinated, so they will just kill you instead.

Capricorn: They’re coming for you and they’re going to get you. Keeping your doors and windows locked will only slow them down.

Ophiuchus: Yes, this is the 13th zodiac sign that few people have ever heard of and even fewer people actually recognize as a legitimate sign. Much like few people have ever heard of you and even fewer people recognize you as a legitimate member of society. Regardless, an unexpected pregnancy or STD is in your future. 
Please note that you should only use the script or your recording of it for auditioning purposes. The script is property, unless otherwise specified, of the voice seeker and it is protected by international copyright laws.

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