Humorous Dial In Sobriety Test

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Project Main Details

Humorous Dial In Sobriety Test 
This project will end-up as a dial-in Humor Hotline, so being funny is certainly the end goal. Getting there is up to you!
2010-06-28 16:40:00 GMT
2010-07-11 16:00:00 (GMT -05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada) 
Yes (click here to learn more about Voice123's SmartCast)
0 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 100 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.

Project Parameters

The Voice Actor should be located in:
To be defined
Adult content
appx. half-page
English - ANY
Young Adult Female OR Young Adult Male OR Middle Age Female OR Middle Age Male
• Audio files must be delivered via email
• Deliver edited and finished voice tracks
Not defined
This is a non-union project

Script Details

Please read a portion from the script below for auditions. 
Thank you for calling the *************************The************************ uses a variety of scientific questions and careful mathematical analysis to deduce whether a caller is sober, buzzed, or completely ***********. Let’s begin.

-Have you had so much liquor that drinking beer is actually sobering you up?
-Have you accused an Asian person of giving you evil-eyes?
-Are you convinced that a poster on the wall is looking at you funny or judging you?
-Did you soil your pants and accuse someone else of pooping in them?
-Has a drunk homeless man offered to call you a cab?
-Does stealing a gun from a cop just to see if you can, seem like a good idea right now?
-Do the not-so-subtle bosoms of a 300 hundred pound homeless man seem oddly appealing to you?
-Does the not-so-subtle penis of a 300 hundred pound homeless man seem oddly appealing to you?
-Did you try to start a fight with a mother bear after her cubs stole your slice of pizza?
-Did that mother bear turn out to be just a woman in a fur coat?
-Have you had intercourse with a person whose name you can’t remember?
-Did that person turn out to be some type of farm animal?
-Have you accidentally drunk-dialed a relative?
-Did you then get angry when that relative didn’t want to meet up with you for sex?

If you answered “yes” to any of the previous questions, you are certifiably hammered. We advise you to continue drinking. It probably won’t sober you up, but it never hurts to try, right? Just remember to refrain from driving, calling your ex, or passing out in front of a hungry dog with peanut butter all over your genitals.

We advise you to take off all your clothes and start dancing immediately. It won’t sober you up, but it will amuse all your friends. Just remember to refrain from driving, calling your ex, or having unprotected sex with a transvestite prostitute. 
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Please note that you should only use the script or your recording of it for auditioning purposes. The script is property, unless otherwise specified, of the voice seeker and it is protected by international copyright laws.

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