Excuses drunk driving radio

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Project Main Details

Excuses drunk driving radio 
This spot is a compilation of excuses that people give when they are arrested for drunk driving. As written, we will feature about six excuses - so we need six talent. Budgets being what they are, we don't have money to pay what each of you deserve. As it stands, we have budget for $100 per excuse. The concept has been approved, the exact excuses haven't been. Feel free to throw in one of your own. Please pick 3 or 4 of your favorites from the list for the audition.
The main direction: Don't sound drunk. The limit is only .08. You might not even feel buzzed. Client doesn't want to give the impression that you have to be sloshed to be arrested. Have fun!  
2012-04-17 13:30:20 GMT
2012-04-21 11:00:00 (GMT -07:00) Mountain Time (US & Canada) 
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0 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 50 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.

Project Parameters

The Voice Actor should be located in:
Student or Non-for-profit student project - USD 100
Via Radio: Salt Lake City ADI
:60 seconds
English - USA and Canada
Young Adult Female OR Young Adult Male OR Middle Age Female OR Middle Age Male
• Phone Patch OR
Source Connect
• Deliver edited and finished voice tracks
The Voice Actor should have at least 1 years of experience in the voice industry.
This is a non-union project

Script Details

*** Please submit custom audition. 
I am seeing double. But I’m driving with one eye closed, so it’s okay.
I would’ve called a cab, but I didn’t want to throw up in it.
I’m on my way to pick up my designated driver right now.
My trucks’s alignment pulls to the left… and to the right.
I have this fungus infection on my butt I was trying to scratch and maybe swerved a little bit.
Yes, I saw your flashing lights. I thought it was a drunk driver trying to crash into me.
Well, yes, I have been drinking. But I was driving really really slow.
If you let me go back to the bar, maybe I can find a designated driver.
They told me pina coladas don't have alcohol in them.
I had a designated driver, but he took a cab home.
I have a hundred dollars here that says I’m not drunk.
Yes I saw the stop sign. In fact I saw two or three.
You don’t understand. .08 is normal for me.
Oh those. They’re just beer cans I’m taking to recycling.
Swear to god, I haven’t had anything to drink in the last half hour.
I can’t be drunk. We ran out of beer a long time ago. 
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