Dial In Doctor

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Project Main Details

Dial In Doctor 
Thank you for auditioning. The following script is a fake Dial-In-Doctor line. The end result should be humorous, but the information should be read confidently as if the doctor whole heartedly endorses these methods.

Again, this should be humorous, so have fun!

Thanks a lot and best of luck!

2012-06-13 11:53:00 GMT
2012-06-15 12:00:00 (GMT -05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada) 
Yes (click here to learn more about Voice123's SmartCast)
0 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 100 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.

Project Parameters

The Voice Actor should be located in:
Student or Non-for-profit student project - USD 75 to USD 0
IVR, voicemail, phone systems, and on-hold messages
Script Legnth
English - ANY
Young Adult Female OR Young Adult Male OR Middle Age Female OR Middle Age Male OR Senior Female OR Senior Male
• Audio files must be delivered via email
• Deliver edited and finished voice tracks
Not defined
This is a non-union project

Script Details

*** Please submit custom audition. 
Thank you for calling the Dial-in-Doctor, the fastest form of free medical advice around!

Let’s dive right in…

If you are suffering from Pneumonia. We recommend just saying “Pneumonia” over and over again. You won't get any better, but it sure is fun to say. Pnnneeeuuumoooonnnniaaaaa

If you are suffering from the hiccups, listen very carefully. First, find a paper bap, next go to[interruption] BOO!!!

If you have pinworms, genital warts, and/or anal leakage, [shiver sound] seriously?! That’s just gross. [shiver sound] We recommend keeping that to yourself and never telling anyone! [more shiver sound]

If you are suffering from the common cold, take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself: “when did I become such a [bleep]ng [bleep]ssy? Seriously, it’s a [bleep]ing cold!”

If you suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder, we recommend carefully focusing on completing individual tasks. Tasks. That’s a weird word. Spaghetti is a weird word too. I had spaghetti for dinner last night. I wonder if Justin Bieber likes Spaghetti… Wait, what was I talking about?

If you think you may be going deaf [speech becomes loud and deliberate] I AM SO SORRY!!! THAT MUST BE AWFUL!!!

If you are bleeding profusely you will need to apply a tourniquet. Tie a non-elastic material several inches above the injury. Tie the loose ends around a stick, and twist the stick to increase the pressure until the bleeding stops. No jokes here as bleeding profusely is serious stuff! Good luck.

If you suffer from obesity, we recommend eating less, exercising more, or finding fatter friends. You could also try to actively fatten up your existing friends, but this could take considerably longer, and your friends may become suspicious.

If you are suffering from an uncontrollable, hacking cough, there is no better remedy than a night at a crowded movie theater. Misery loves company… and hates chick flicks. [Hacking cough sound] [Shhhhh!]

Thank you for using the Dial in Doctor service. You will be charged a $40 Co Pay for the care that you have received. This $40 co-pay will be charged directly to the phone bill of the phone you are calling from. We hope that you will continue to use our services in the future. 
Please note that you should only use the script or your recording of it for auditioning purposes. The script is property, unless otherwise specified, of the voice seeker and it is protected by international copyright laws.

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