Atheists Guide to Christianese

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Project Main Details

Atheists Guide to Christianese 
This is an irreverent look at the stereotypes found in religion and the church. It's not everyone's cup of tea, so if you're offended by this kind of thing, no worries.

I produce these as a hobby, not for profit, so you won't get rich working for me. :)

I'm looking for a straight read (with a wink). Informative, yet fun.

See examples of other projects with similar styles at my You Tube page: *********************************************************** 
2010-03-26 09:57:21 GMT
2010-03-29 19:45:04 (GMT -06:00) Central Time (US & Canada) 
Yes (click here to learn more about Voice123's SmartCast)
Closed - Note: This project was manually closed by the voice seeker before it reached its original deadline.
3 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 50 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 Note: Names, links, and contact information have been replaced by "*" symbols. If you have been invited to submit an audition or proposal for this project, you can sign in to see this information in full.

Project Parameters

The Voice Actor should be located in:
Flexible Price - USD 120
Training, business presentations, sales, and web sites
see script
English - USA and Canada
Middle Age Male OR Senior Male
• Audio files must be delivered via email
There are no special pre-, post-, or production requirements for this project.
The Voice Actor should have at least 2 years of experience in the voice industry.
The voice seeker is willing to hire either union or non-union talents for this project

Script Details

Sample script below provided by the seeker for auditions. 
If you've ever had conversations with a Christian, you've also encountered a phenomenon called "Christianese" (Christian-ease)... words and phrases which either contain hidden messages, or... are completely ridiculous.

To help you navigate the gauntlet of pompous platitudes, stuffy stereotypes and bombastic B.S., we humbly present another exciting edition of: Understanding Christianese.

“I’ll pray for you.”

There are 2 possible meanings here.

For the afflicted, it translates: “If I truly cared, I’d offer immediate physical, emotional or monetary assistance. But I’m much too busy to offer any real compassion. Now go away...ya bother me.”

As a rebuttal in an argument, it translates: “You’re dead wrong. Repent, ignorant fool. This conversation is over.” 
Please note that you should only use the script or your recording of it for auditioning purposes. The script is property, unless otherwise specified, of the voice seeker and it is protected by international copyright laws.

Voice-Seeker Details

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