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***************************************** 2012-02-07 10:37:39 GMT 2012-03-05 10:00:00 (GMT -05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada) Yes (click here to learn more about ) Closed 0 0 4 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far. Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 50 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
I'm looking for a male with a deep/bassy voice and a lot of energy.
***************************************** Standup Video Jokes – Act I
I saw a bumper sticker today that said: “Only God can judge me.” My thought: Do u wanna make a bet? I’ll take a crack at it right NOW!
Ur not from around here, are u? Know how I could tell? You’re nice. You’re very nice. Suspiciously nice, in fact. And that’s not normal!
I have no idea how I got a job here. Luck’d out BigTime. Human resources don’t do very thorough background checks. Their dang fault not mine
Don’t bust my ballz 4 parking in handicapped spot! I’m only gonna be 10 minutes. Aren’t we all just a little bit handicapped in our heartz?
I like fastfood combo places. At a TacoBell/Long John Silvers I ordered nachos AND hush puppies. Dipped puppies in cheese. Best dinner ever!
At buffet I squished a piece of meatloaf and a syrup soaked pancake into the shape of an apple. Not only healthy & nutritious, delicious 2.
The diarrhea I had after eating Cici’s all you can eat pizza buffet didn’t burn nearly as bad I expected it would. Can’t beat that for $4.99!
A wise man once said, “A buffet a day keeps the baggy pants away.”
I asked a girl out on a date & she said: “I’m kinda seeing someone.” Translation: You’re ‘kinda’ weird looking & I wouldn’t touch u with a 10 foot pole.
Come on, 1 date. I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I won’t even try to touch ur unmentionables. Not even once! Where else ya gonna find a man like that?!
Some girl @ the bar asked me 2 guess her age. My guess was 7 years older than her actual age. Having 1 eye on the football game led to fumbled answer
It’s a good idea 2 find ur sharkin nook at DaClub. Watch the fishies swarm up 2 the dock. Don’t be reelin in till they ready 2 take bite of my worm
Have u ever been with guy who had guns like this? Of course u haven’t! My secret? Exercising 0 times per week. It’s lot harder than it looks.
There’s nothing broke about my mountain. Women only are allowed 2 hike & climb & camp in my mountains. Ladies: bring the flashlights & I’ll pitch a tent.
Dude at the bar wrote his # on a napkin & gave it to my girl. I took the napkin, blew my nose in it, balled it up & tossed it at dude. Boom!
Nick, ur 1 hell of a buddy. I’ve known u all my life bro. It kills me 2B the 1 to have to break it to ya but ur the worst WingMan ever
Loneliness + Alcohol + StripClub = EmptyWallet
I won’t hold the 2nd door open 4 someone who doesn’t say ThankU the 1st time. If they gonna B rude I ain’t gonna B a gentleman & help em out
I witnessed a man back his Suburban out of his driveway & run over his own mailbox! He didn’t seem 2 notice, or even care. Only in America!
Some bum had his hand out lookin 4 help. I offered 2 bucks if he’d wash my windshield & he said NO. Would’ve been wrong giving my $$$$$ 4 nothing
Coffee is 1 drink people have no business to be slurping. HotCoco, Gatorade, OJ, Tang, Tea, Beer, slurp the fu$k away. But coffee is not 2B slurped!
Dude u gotta brush ur teeth already! Cut out the soda. Better yet, make an appointment with the dentist. Ur teeth be lookin like little baked beans yo
U cried @ the end of ToyStory3? Why would u share that with me!? …Well don’t worry, ur secret is KINDA safe with me. I won’t tell 2 many people
I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again & again: U don’t get a ‘BlessU’ for a sneeze into ur hands. Put that sneeze on ur sleeve foo. Germs!
Finish that beer! What’s wrong with u? Ya must not read the bible much. The 11th commandment states: Thou shalt never let a beer go 2 waste
If I was in a Rock N Roll band all of my songs would end at 4 minutes & 20 seconds.
I hate it when I jump out of the shower & forget to rinse part of my body. Gotta jump back in the shower & get wet all over again. Late 4 work
The more people I meet, the more I treasure my dog’s company
It sucks u can’t choose ur family. But u do have the choice with what kind of crappy present 2 purchase for them when their birthday rolls around
That’s not gonna happen. Way 2 early 4 me. At that hr I’m still layin in bed lickin my woundz. Won’t be cryin for pancakes til at least 11am
My HealthCarePlan: fruits & veggies, walking, washing my hands frequently & minimizing the ## of text messages I send while I’m driving
When ur working with people who have good teeth & above average hygiene that’s when u know u’ve really made it somewhere in this BigOldWorld
Ya gotta stay persistent if ur chasing a dream. U drop enough stones in that well sooner or later something’s bound 2 make a BigOldFatSplash
It’s been a quality experience 4 the both of us. The memory of what we shared tonight will burn on forever. God I hope I never see ur face again.
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