Animated StandUp Comedy Video

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Project Main Details

Animated StandUp Comedy Video 
I'm making a 3D animated standup comedy video of a comic telling short, 140 character jokes on a stage. The stage has been animated, the character has been animated, now I need a voice artist to provide the comic's voice. I'm looking for a male with a deep/bassy voice and a lot of energy.

2012-02-07 10:37:39 GMT
2012-03-05 10:00:00 (GMT -05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada) 
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4 direct invitation(s) have been sent by the voice seeker resulting in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 SmartCast is seeking 50 auditions and/or proposals for this project (approx.) Invitations sent by SmartCast have resulted in 0 audition(s) and/or proposal(s) so far.
Voice123 Note: Names, links, and contact information have been replaced by "*" symbols. If you have been invited to submit an audition or proposal for this project, you can sign in to see this information in full.

Project Parameters

The Voice Actor should be located in:
Fixed - USD 275
Adult content
4 minutes
English - USA and Canada
African American
Middle Age Male
• Audio files must be delivered via email
• Deliver edited and finished voice tracks
Not defined
The voice seeker is willing to hire either union or non-union talents for this project

Script Details

***May be offensive to some talent.***

I'm looking for a male with a deep/bassy voice and a lot of energy.

Standup Video Jokes – Act I

I saw a bumper sticker today that said: “Only God can judge me.” My thought: Do u wanna make a bet? I’ll take a crack at it right NOW!

Ur not from around here, are u? Know how I could tell? You’re nice. You’re very nice. Suspiciously nice, in fact. And that’s not normal!

I have no idea how I got a job here. Luck’d out BigTime. Human resources don’t do very thorough background checks. Their dang fault not mine

Don’t bust my ballz 4 parking in handicapped spot! I’m only gonna be 10 minutes. Aren’t we all just a little bit handicapped in our heartz?

I like fastfood combo places. At a TacoBell/Long John Silvers I ordered nachos AND hush puppies. Dipped puppies in cheese. Best dinner ever!

At buffet I squished a piece of meatloaf and a syrup soaked pancake into the shape of an apple. Not only healthy & nutritious, delicious 2.

The diarrhea I had after eating Cici’s all you can eat pizza buffet didn’t burn nearly as bad I expected it would. Can’t beat that for $4.99!

A wise man once said, “A buffet a day keeps the baggy pants away.”

I asked a girl out on a date & she said: “I’m kinda seeing someone.” Translation: You’re ‘kinda’ weird looking & I wouldn’t touch u with a 10 foot pole.

Come on, 1 date. I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I won’t even try to touch ur unmentionables. Not even once! Where else ya gonna find a man like that?!

Some girl @ the bar asked me 2 guess her age. My guess was 7 years older than her actual age. Having 1 eye on the football game led to fumbled answer

It’s a good idea 2 find ur sharkin nook at DaClub. Watch the fishies swarm up 2 the dock. Don’t be reelin in till they ready 2 take bite of my worm

Have u ever been with guy who had guns like this? Of course u haven’t! My secret? Exercising 0 times per week. It’s lot harder than it looks.

There’s nothing broke about my mountain. Women only are allowed 2 hike & climb & camp in my mountains. Ladies: bring the flashlights & I’ll pitch a tent.

Dude at the bar wrote his # on a napkin & gave it to my girl. I took the napkin, blew my nose in it, balled it up & tossed it at dude. Boom!

Nick, ur 1 hell of a buddy. I’ve known u all my life bro. It kills me 2B the 1 to have to break it to ya but ur the worst WingMan ever

Loneliness + Alcohol + StripClub = EmptyWallet

I won’t hold the 2nd door open 4 someone who doesn’t say ThankU the 1st time. If they gonna B rude I ain’t gonna B a gentleman & help em out

I witnessed a man back his Suburban out of his driveway & run over his own mailbox! He didn’t seem 2 notice, or even care. Only in America!

Some bum had his hand out lookin 4 help. I offered 2 bucks if he’d wash my windshield & he said NO. Would’ve been wrong giving my $$$$$ 4 nothing

Coffee is 1 drink people have no business to be slurping. HotCoco, Gatorade, OJ, Tang, Tea, Beer, slurp the fu$k away. But coffee is not 2B slurped!

Dude u gotta brush ur teeth already! Cut out the soda. Better yet, make an appointment with the dentist. Ur teeth be lookin like little baked beans yo

U cried @ the end of ToyStory3? Why would u share that with me!? …Well don’t worry, ur secret is KINDA safe with me. I won’t tell 2 many people

I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again & again: U don’t get a ‘BlessU’ for a sneeze into ur hands. Put that sneeze on ur sleeve foo. Germs!

Finish that beer! What’s wrong with u? Ya must not read the bible much. The 11th commandment states: Thou shalt never let a beer go 2 waste

If I was in a Rock N Roll band all of my songs would end at 4 minutes & 20 seconds.

I hate it when I jump out of the shower & forget to rinse part of my body. Gotta jump back in the shower & get wet all over again. Late 4 work

The more people I meet, the more I treasure my dog’s company

It sucks u can’t choose ur family. But u do have the choice with what kind of crappy present 2 purchase for them when their birthday rolls around

That’s not gonna happen. Way 2 early 4 me. At that hr I’m still layin in bed lickin my woundz. Won’t be cryin for pancakes til at least 11am

My HealthCarePlan: fruits & veggies, walking, washing my hands frequently & minimizing the ## of text messages I send while I’m driving

When ur working with people who have good teeth & above average hygiene that’s when u know u’ve really made it somewhere in this BigOldWorld

Ya gotta stay persistent if ur chasing a dream. U drop enough stones in that well sooner or later something’s bound 2 make a BigOldFatSplash

It’s been a quality experience 4 the both of us. The memory of what we shared tonight will burn on forever. God I hope I never see ur face again. 
Voice123 Note: Names, links, and contact information have been replaced by "*" symbols. If you have been invited to submit an audition or proposal for this project, you can sign in to see this information in full.
Please note that you should only use the script or your recording of it for auditioning purposes. The script is property, unless otherwise specified, of the voice seeker and it is protected by international copyright laws.

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